I generally find this type of holiday, (New Years, Valentines Day, et al) to be somewhat artificial. I cannot recall ever having the requisite "incredible" experience on any of these specific days or nights, although I can recall some wonderful moments in my life, maybe on a random Tuesday afternoon while I was driving my daughter home from school and she first laid me out with an incredibly dry, sarcastic observation about my narcissism. That was a good day. Those are the best days, actually, when you realize that your child will, in fact, be an improved version of you. Or when your significant other reveals him or herself to be more compassionate and vulnerable than you had previously imagined. Or stronger than you had hoped. Those moments are infinitely superior to any contrived holiday, where people are all "supposed" to have an amazing time at the exact same moment. That notion holds little appeal for me. I much prefer organic moments, the spontaneous ones that sneak up on you when you least expect them and grip your heart with their acute intimacy. Those experiences cannot possibly happen on command; simply because the calendar year is expiring, and everyone else in the world appears to be experiencing some synchronized public joy. I mean, it could happen at that moment. Maybe. But, if you think about it, it seems much more likely that those moments happen all the time, on unheralded days, in the midst of difficulty or out of the tedium of routine, or perhaps just on some random morning when you wake up and recognize that your heart is telling you that its time to give your solitude over to something that might bring you an entirely new kind of peace. So whether you are working tonight, or sitting at home reading; at your best friends party or getting engaged, think of this night as a piece of the mosaic that encompasses your entire human experience. Whatever you want this night to represent, whatever its symbolism means to you, in reality, this revelation is not limited to this specific night. Every night represents a chance for contemplation, a chance to tell people how you feel, a chance to seek clarity, a chance to enjoy the moment. In that way, every night, is new years eve.
BB
Yesterday's events in Newtown serve to remind us that there are things in life that cannot be prevented no matter how diligent or prepared you wish to believe you are. There are roughly three hundred million people in this country and one of us lost it yesterday morning and committed a horrific act. One person did this. One. In three hundred million. There is no acceptable way to lose a loved one. Ever. It's always a tragedy to whomever feels the loss. And, being human, we all wish to comfort those in pain. We all wish to make sense of the irrational. We want to be more vigilant. More prepared. Vigilance, however, can take many forms. There is no way any society can prepare for all possible scenarios that may result in tragedy. But each person can be vigilant within the context of his or her own life. You can be vigilant by telling your children every morning that you love them. You can be vigilant by never holding a grudge nor leaving the words you hold in your heart unspoken. You can be vigilant by teaching your children to protect and love one another instead of making fun of fat kids and the children who need special help after school. You can be vigilant by living your life your way every day, instead of buckling under pressure to conform to ideals in which you do not actually believe, so that if an event such as this impacts you at any point, you have no regrets. It's quite alright to tell your children that sometimes things happen for no good reason. In fact, many times things happen for no good reason. Good things and bad things happen randomly all the time. So enjoy the good ones. Be a true friend. Love people when they least deserve it. Smile at strangers. Help when you can. Forgive. Try to create a sense of community at ALL times. So that when it's your time, you'll know you did your best.
That's really all you can do.
BB
That's really all you can do.
BB